I thought about all the people I have, or at least, once had in my life. The ones I loved, the ones I let down, the ones I thought I loved, the ones I should have loved. They appeared to me in fleeting images as I sat in my room, cold and alone. I pulled my blankets nearer and huddled in them.
I thought about the boy with dark brown eyes.
The way his eyes glimmered with mischief. The way he smiles. The lopsided grin he gives me. The kind of smile that was once reserved for me. And only me.
I thought about our last meeting.
How I pushed him away.
How we walked away from one another. How we never turned back for a second glance. How we never heard from each other again.
How I wondered what life is like for him, and how it will be like if we never left each other.
Next, I thought about the girl who used to call everyday.
How we never got bored talking to each other even though we see each other in school. How we talked on the phone for hours while our parents wait impatiently for the house phone. How we talked about things that didn’t matter now but mattered then. How we made plans for our future, like going to each other’s weddings and being each other’s bridesmaid.
Yet we never did realized that we would eventually cease to exist in each other’s world. That we would be mere strangers on the streets. That we would never fulfill our promises to each other. That we would never run to each other again. And that, we would never be able to share the good and bad, just like old times.
This is to all the people who I loved and loved me. Thank you for loving me, even if it was in the past. And thank you for letting me love you in return.